Christmas and the Road

One of the toughest things about life on  the road is missing holidays and major events with friends and family. It’s Sunday the 23rd of December and I’m sitting in my hotel room looking out over the Streets of Paris. My family is many miles away, this will be the 2nd year in a row I’ll be missing Christmas, and I already know that I’ll be in Frankfurt for Christmas next year. I will miss the annual German Style family gathering that the entire family looks forward too. A buffet at home with smoked salmon, German sausage, bread, cake, candy, cold cuts, strange little vegetables that I only see once a year arranged with clever traditional german decorations. My Mom’s exquisitely decorated Christmas tree. The echo of my grandparents traditions that linger with us but are in their new venues and incarnations, I miss my grandparents most at this time of year, although touring through Germany has brought near constant thoughts of our family history (at least my mom’s side). It is not easy missing Christmas, or my young nephews growing up or even just a weekly dinner at my parents house to check in.

I look out at the beautiful Chatelet Theatre each night, at our patrons who have parted with a  significant amount of their paycheque to watch the production that all those I travel with are part of. From the moment our audience members get to their seat, with anticipation and excitement on their faces I realize their experience has already started. Likely they have been looking forward to this for weeks and it’s now only moments away. Once we have started I see the front row in the dark, I watch their eyes dart between the speaking characters, at the moving sets, the lighting cues subtly directing their attention to the right part of the stage, listening to beautiful songs sung and played by people from I don’t know how many countries (at least 10). The story takes them through a series of events and emotions, the choreography is wonderful storytelling through dance and our dancers are raved about by just about everyone I talk to who has seen the show. By the end, the audience usually on their feet,all clapping together in rhythmic pulse (this is something the europeans seem to do). Everyday we send 1600 people back out to their lives after seeing something really special and that is amazing. Still I wonder sometimes why I feel so attached to a life that keeps me from loved ones.

I think what I’ve learned is that times like Christmas, Weddings, Thanksgiving (mostly for my American friends) and any holiday that ones family observes are really special. But it’s not the holiday itself that really matters. I will see my family in February and whether I fly home this week or in a month does not increase how many days I get to spend with them in a year. In fact, I have found that time with my family is sometimes less frantic when it’s at a time other than a major event. Also being away makes the time I get with my family very special and I believe they cherish it as much as I do. I have the luxury of being able to go home once or twice a year, I don’t get two weeks of vacation a year, I get breaks between contracts. Sometimes a couple of weeks, sometimes several months, it’s the reality of trying to make a living in the arts. You have to make hay when the sunshines so I go home when I can.

So there it is, I’m not away because I’m career driven, or running away from anything as some have suggested to me in the past. I simply can’t imagine doing anything else. Being a part of a show like the one I’m in, travelling all over the world and being able to perform with people at a high level is a rare privilege an I’m honoured to be here. I miss my family, I imagine I don’t see them much less than I would if I was working a day job an hour from my home town. I think I’ve spent many years feeling selfish for being away for Christmas and important birthdays and weddings but in truth that has made the people mean more to me than they probably know. When I do get to be there it makes it all the better.

To all those I care about, I wish I could spend some time with you this Christmas, I really do miss you, my friends from all the tours, my dearest friends from home (there have been a few places I’ve called home and I do mean to include all of them). I am having the time of my life seeing all these great places and playing music, but it does not mean I don’t long for the people who have known me for more than a little while. Merry Christmas to all of you and I hope to see you sometime soon.

All the best.

T.